… this looks interesting…
Heat and cold hurt. A hot bath burns, an orgasm overwhelms with pain.1
… such frankness about ordinary experiences…
… the death toll mounts…
… DJ continuing to struggle with health…
… memories of a pair of aunts with austere lives…
… planning for Edward II… it keeps him alive…
… i have an urge to look at the photography page on my blog… my photographs and photographs i have linked because i found them interesting… it’s a nice array of images… much more interesting than sets i have attempted to curate… is this a message to let my interests take me where they will?… that will be the most interesting?…
… whole paragraphs full of flower/plant sightings…
… i relish the descriptions of puttering about… H and i, retired, semi-retired… we putter about but less productively it seems to me… H in front of TV all day… me doing this and that…
… DJ talks about gathering and pickling samphire… i search for information on that and come up with samphire.org.uk… it’s a thing…
… i wonder if i could grow it?…
… Salicornia, i learn, is the latin(?) name for the genus that includes a number of species many of which are known by the common name samphire… they grow in salt marshes and are eaten where they grow… there are some varieties that are at least partially toxic, so one needs to know what Salicarnia they are dealing with… it is, apparently, a delicacy in eastern Canada…
… i am almost finished with the book… another morning or two an then on to Denton Welch…
Jarman, Derek, Modern Nature, p 286 ↩︎
… an email from S… do i want to go to writers group this Wednesday?… part of me does… part of me does not…
… yesterday began and ended well, with some irritations in between… made motel reservations for Christmas trip to Florida to see M… well the down and staying there part… still need to book a couple motels for the return trip… going to cost roughly 1K to do it… Christmas with M, priceless…
… Chas got me up promptly at 4 AM… wanted his after he goes out morning treats… or did he need to go out too?…
… the week of doctoring… or setting up doctoring… would like to head into the winter with all the doctoring done, vaccinations done, declared to be largely healthy…
… hordes of people on Main Street yesterday… not enjoying being in a local tourism destination… too many people…
… scored a couple of fish heads at the farmer’s market… making stock for a yet to be determined deliciousness…
… step out the front door… rain drops lingering on the car… air crisp, chilled… street flushed by rain… birds twittering…
… the undertow is with me this morning… deep breathing to settle it down…
… another jeweler?… there are several on Main Street already… steadily increasing luxuriance…
… as i walk, a tribe of finches flit from place to place keeping just ahead of me… am i chasing them or are they leading me?…
… L wishes me good morning… walking their dog… i notice they have allowed their hair to be gray…
…more signs of luxuriance…
… sitting near the falls at the roundhouse… three people messing with light poles on the terrace… taking them in for the winter?…
… the sun clears a building nearby, warmth spreading down the left side of my head… deep breath… be present to it…
… a father changes the diaper of a crying baby in the back seat of a car…
… a girl with fairy wings strapped on her back sits with her father outside a donut shop… the pinks and greens of the girl’s sweatshirt and father’s flannel shirt are dazzling in the morning sun…
… a caravan of venders popping up in the DMV parking lot… farmer’s market today…
… pictures of what i noticed along the way…
… it started with Modern Nature, a journal kept during the years 1990-1991 by Derek Jarman… it chronicles time following his initial diagnosis as HIV positive… it’s been a very interesting read, with several references to other interesting reads… one of them is The Journals of Denton Welch… DJ admired, as, apparently, most people do, the prose of Denton Welch… i wanted to see what precise, crystalline prose looked like so i ordered a used copy of the book which arrived yesterday…
… so, that makes two journals on my reading list… no wait, i seem to recall purchasing the journals of Sylvia Plath too… three journals on my reading list…
… this morning i read a review of No. 91/92: Notes on a Parisian Commute, by Lauren Elkin… it’s a journal of the quotidian… brief notes typed into a smartphone during her bi-weekly commuting routine… yup… something i have done, still do… from this review i learn about Georges Perec who had a cataloguing methodology and was a champion of noticing the small events that make up life… she was also inspired by the journaling of Annie Ernaux… some lengthy poking around to find an example of the journaling… nothing pops up as a journal per se, but her writing is autobiographical… more exploration later…
… and so, it seems the cosmos is driving me down a rabbit hole on journaling…
… it is time for my walk… i will have more to say on this rabbit hole…
… storms passed through last night… rain only, not the possible severe thunderstorms warned… i tended to the chickens early and was proud of myself for doing that… having a weather app with radar imaging of approaching storms is amazing…
… no further developments on H health scare… no further possible symptoms… doctoring to be lined up this coming week…
… i received The Journals of Denton Welch yesterday… will begin reading upon completion of Modern Nature… i enjoy having an eclectic reading list… at least i think it is eclectic…
… began setting up herbs to dry… a large amount of sage yesterday… i will try to do some tarragon and maybe a little rosemary and time, though i’d like to see if the rosemary can be overwintered… i read about overwintering rosemary… it can be done in zone 7 and above… becomes a more dicy proposition in zone 6… there are varieties of rosemary that are tougher… i don’t know what variety i have… you need a dry sunny place… you can get frost blankets to put over them… i may try that… not too expensive… i look up our zone… on the border between zone 6 and 7… that seems promising assuming my rosemary is a hardy variety… i bought it at a local nursery, so it might be… i am thinking we will concentrate the planter tanks on herbs and tomatoes… maybe some onions and leeks… that was pretty successful…
… walk, breakfast, farmer’s market, family meeting… the order of the day… skin doctor this week, also gastroenterologist, getting caught up on doctoring… next up will be ophthalmologist and cardiologist… then annual check in with primary care doctor… then all set for the winter?… oh, flu shot and COVID vaccine booster shot… then we are good for the winter…
… one more before i go walking…
Study Shows Correlation Between Number of Confederate Monuments and Lynchings
… via Hyperallergic… the title says it all, but the article backs it up…
Frieze Festival, London, via AnOther
… the artists i like…
Deborah Roberts ‘Laying my burdens down’, 2021 Mixed media collage on canvas 177.8 x 177.8cm(70 x 70in). Copyright Deborah Roberts. Photo by Paul Bardargjy.
… the artist is African American, well known in this country… her work depicts:
_ Black children, beautifully composed, in collage form, from found imagery and hand-painted details. Each one features an array of skin tones, hairstyles, facial features and clothing in a powerful exploration of what the gallery terms “the challenges encountered by Black children as they respond to social constructs perpetuated by the white gaze and western visual culture”._1
… i like the image above… i like its photo collage quality, i like its minimalism… i find it pleasing to look at, mildly challenging… the direct gaze of the subject… the averted gaze also… it is art with a social purpose… it is the white patriarchy absorbing the critique in a way deemed acceptable…
Do Ho Suh, Doorknobs on Backplates: Providence Home and New York Homes, 2021
… i like the whimsy…
Mary Beth Edelson
… American feminist art pioneer, nudes on the beach striking Egyptian statuary poses… she died this past April… i am interested in women in photography, especially nudes where i find very interesting crosscurrents of the male gaze, female gaze, feminist statements…
… a pivotal moment?… the Freedom to Vote Act will be voted on by the Senate… this is the measure Manchin says he can get ten republican senators to vote for, thus passing the legislation without tanking the filibuster… there is no sign those ten votes will materialize…
… HCR tells us the fate of democracy hangs in the balance… either some form of voting rights legislation passes, or there will be, effectively, a one party system “that, at best, will look much like the American South did between 1876 and 1964”1…
… that we are here at all is amazing to me… if we don’t get voting rights legislation, if we become a minority ruled oligarchy or authoritarian country, i will have no desire to live here but may not have much choice… i also think our retired life might be threatened as there were rumblings of doing away with Social Security entirely at the end of 45’s administration…
… we’d be in a pickle, though, hopefully, by then, our mortgage will be paid off…
Richardson, Heather Cox: https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/october-15-2021 ↩︎
… DJ is recovering from his illness… i am amazed that he has so many friends stopping by, bringing him flowers, taking care of him, Tilda Swinton almost a daily presence… i look up Tilda Swinton’s Wikipedia page and surprisingly little mention is made of Derek Jarman, despite having starred in a number of his films… two of which are talked about a great deal in Modern Nature…
… i discover that TS is a kind of actress i like a great deal, not mainstream Hollywood, taking roles in independent films… an actress with courage and a career… Michele Williams is another one…
… got lost down the rabbit hole of looking for my ex… she seems to live in Manhattan… not much more to know… she also wen’t by Salmon-Kriegh somewhere along the line… i don’t think it was while we were married… strange… relatively little else to know… seems she may have remarried…
… Joris Ivens is mentioned again, film on the wind… it’s available to watch on Youtube…
… can it be that there are only ten weeks left in the year?… they are rushing past… which reminds me we need to solidify plans for Christmas… make some reservations…
… the weather has been very warm… dry… that will change today… rain, cooler afterwards…
… made two of H’s favorite dishes last night… eggplant parmigiana and spaghetti with clams… the eggplant parmigiana was a Jamie Oliver recipe that roasts the eggplant unbranded rather than frying breaded… not as full of oil… the clams were amazing, plump and juicy…
… bought some hard (coping) alcohol… sigh… had a couple of martinis and a glass of wine… not too bad this morning… slept the night through…
… no HCR this AM… she must have forgotten to hit send… that’s what it usually is…
… yard work and exterior stairs work… need to finish them, install a railing… winter is coming…
… our program of getting help in the garden is working out… it’s in the best shape it has ever been heading into the winter…
… H had a telavisit with her doctor… more appointments to line up, including diagnostics for the bleeding anomaly… hopefully nothing… tense nervous days and/or weeks…
… strong undertow of worry about H… it’s as if it were happening to me… is that surprising?… after 22+ years of being together we are as one organism… more than the sum of our individual selves… a variety of fantasies… but the same sick worried feeling at the beginning of each day… after a night of oblivion the cosmos marches us forward towards whatever is waiting… hopefully a nothing burger… how do we teach ourselves to let go and live in the present which, without future located worries is a beautiful place…
… there was inertia this morning, as dawn approached… i shouldn’t walk… i shouldn’t walk so far… no, stay with the routines… they will keep you planted on the ground… oriented…
… H texting me about cash for K… a good sign… hopefully no more blood… feeling a little relieved…
… the emotional heaviness… sadness, depression, mostly because of future thinking… my fantasy mind going all sorts of places… i remember what i told M, emotions are neither good or bad, they just are… the same holds true for random thoughts… they come and go like clouds in the landscape… just let them flow through…
… M and i exchanging texts… S had six teeth extracted… not being very friendly…
… [Jackie Nickerson](https://www.anothermag.com/art-photography/13652/the-story-behind-jackie-nickerson-s-salvage-portraits?utm_source=Link&utm_medium=Link&utm_campaign=RSSFeed&utm_term=the-story-behind-jackie-nickerson-s-arresting-salvage-portraits “Stansfield, Ted, The Story Behind Jackie Nickerson’s Arresting ‘Salvage” Portraits")
Photography by Jackie Nickerson
… as i look at the images i try to decide between gimmick and serious art work… i like the images, like the concept, but am i being seduced by something which really only has surface attraction?… she is described as a “world-class” photographer… she has earned her reputation in the fashion industry… interesting that these art/fashion photographs are about identity through, essentially, hats…
… the photography is from Salvage, her latest photobook… it explores the relationship between people and consumption in formal portraits… but what exactly does it say about that?… that we throw away some beautiful things that make cool face and head props in a photo project?…
… i look at the images… first take, cool… second take, what’s the message?… should we be forced to wear the wages of our sins?…
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.1
… as i think the words “wages of our sin” onto the computer screen, i look up the reference… a bible passage… and so, my thoughts about the photographs move to the objects plastered onto the heads of the models as some kind of cancerous growth… but not grotesque… somewhat disturbing but also beautiful… cleaned up, sanitized, cancerous growth…
… the pictures are compelling… would be easy to hang on the wall of ones living room… but… is the message lost in the glamour of the photography and art direction?…
… Ann Barngrover, Taking Flight
… the author discusses the work of another author… Helen Macdonald, Vesper Flights… i have, but have not yet read, H is for Hawk… Vesper Flights is a collection of essays… as i read the descriptions of the books, i am thinking they would make good Christmas gifts for my sister…
… i learn about the German concept of wunderkammer, “cabinet of wonders.”…
Originally depicting rooms rather than pieces of furniture, wunderkammers were most popular in Victorian times as enclosed spaces that held collections of rare or unexpected finds. Instead of functioning as museums, “It was expected that people should pick up and handle the objects in these cases; feel their textures, their weights, their particular strangenesses.” You could touch and hold mollusk shells and chinaware, pressed feathers and butterfly wings, beaded stones and the fragile candelabras of fish bones, things both natural and forged. “Nothing was kept behind glass,” Macdonald notes.2
… as i read about the concept of wunderkammer… i think, i have a wunderkammer… my studio is a wonderkammer in a way… i have lots of natural objects i have collected… a bag of such objects from Block Island, sitting on my bed right now… a windowsill full of them… i think, this could be an art project… a photo project…
… the author moves on to talk about a college course on Star Wars that she and her colleague designed and gave… she talks about the feminism in Star Wars… she talks about the male know-it-alls who claim exclusive dominion over Star Wars interpretation…
Indeed, wondering comes at a price. As Macdonald reminds us, “Increasingly, knowing your surroundings, recognising the species of animals and plants around you, means opening yourself to constant grief.” This is the sobering reversal of slowing down and rejoicing in complexity and nuance, beauty and depth. The more you slow down, the more you will find. The more you find, the more you will connect. The more you connect, the more you will love. The more you love, the more you will lose—maybe not today, but one day, one day soon.3
… a good essay… worth reading…
… Reese Herrington, “Girl Talk”
Girl Talk, Photography by Reese Herrington
… a young woman photographer photographs the women around her in appreciative, sensual and sexual ways… in the bedroom, the bathroom, the boudoir… if its women photographing women, is it objectification?… their Instagram site is more balanced…
Bible, Romans 6:23, New International Version ↩︎
Barngrover, Ann, Taking Flight: https://www.guernicamag.com/taking-flight/ ↩︎
Ibid ↩︎
… hopeful signs?…
… the appearance, at least, that nooses are tightening… Bannon being held in contempt of congress… 45 wanting to challenge January 6 select committee authority but struggling to lawyer up… bad reputation on several fronts appears to be dogging him… courts siding with opponents of 45 and 45 administration…
… this morning’s post allows me to hope that the whole gang can be brought down before the 2022 election cycle which might minimize ability of Republicans to make gains…
… oddly, conservatives battering Biden/Harris with supply chain paranoia, claiming Christmas will see package delays of epic proportions… i remember last year… packages did not arrive on time… arrived weeks late…
… rough afternoon yesterday… H with health worries… dr. visit lined up… hoping it’s nothing… worried as if it was me… trying to be reassuring… trying to keep them from falling down the rabbit hole of worse case scenarios…
… alcoholed up… fortunately nothing in the house harder than hard cider… not too bad this AM…
… we are tired of worry… would be happy to go through a long stretch without it… is old age the worry age, or are old bodies less able to cope with worry?…
… messing around with Setapp, downloaded a duplicate file finder utility… running now… apparently 1.2 GB of duplicate files have been found already… looks like mostly photographs…
… read that Safari now the fastest browser in the world… opening it up to see if there is reason to switch away from Mozilla Firefox… it does seem to be faster… hmmm…
… time to move on to the HCR Meter…
… an article on Shine, an exhibition of his sculptures and paintings… i look at the work thinking i won’t like it, and interestingly, i do… though it seems thoroughly capitalist to me…
Jeff Koons ShineBalloon Dog (Red), 1994-2000. Private collection. © Jeff Koons, Photo: Mike Bruce, Gate Studios, London
… objects of popular culture, rendered in plastic, metal, polished… he likes the metaphysics of the mirror… everywo/man reflected in artifacts of their popular culture…
… Koons talks about wanting the work to be objective, not subjective, not a rendering of his psyche… i am not sure how any art work made by an individual can free itself from being a rendering of that individual… but the reflective nature of his work perhaps accomplishes that… you see, it’s you too, not just me… you see yourself in this world that is the world of Koons but it’s the world of you too!…
… i read what Koons has to say about mirrors and it makes no sense to me…
… things aren’t all bad…
… some things the Biden/Harris admin has accomplished that have flown under the radar:
… D and E came for dinner… drank alcohol… a little too much, but not as bad as often happens… we had a good time solving the world’s problems and our own… always a good time with them…
… dogs got me up at the usual 4 AM hour… i had hoped to sleep in a bit… went to bed late… no such luck…
… messing around with Feedbin… adding feeds to Feedbin… one at a time… not adding everything that is in Feedly… purchased a subscription… Feedly will soon be a service of the past… slowly removing Google tentacles…
… messing around with Micro.blog… haven’t made any changes but researching the changes (refinements) i might make…
… today will be a me day… yesterday was a clean the house, shop and cook day… plan to review and edit photos… continue adding feeds to Feedbin…
… a gray, peaceful morning… decided on the abandoned bridge route… i haven’t done it since August… Ida rearranged some things as i expected…
… a flock of crows/ravens flies by as i leave the house… heading north with purpose… not milling about and squawking at one another as they did the other day…
… i pass a gay couple on the street out for their morning constitutional… they look through me as we pass… recently arrived from NYC?…
… K is out walking their dog, we wave hi from across the street… later we pass on the same side and wish each other good morning…
… as i pass through neighborhoods, political signs give me the lay of the land… conservative, liberal, not willing to proclaim in public…
… i am thinking a lot about radical conservatives and their commitment to making themselves the boss of us all in perpetuity… it’s existential for them… their way of life is on the ropes… they are trying to force us to their way of looking at the world… it’s not clear to me that they will fail… i have no desire to live in the world they propose… wondering what i can, what i will do to be part of stopping it… too many days the HCR meter points towards civil war… some comfort in reviewing the events of 1963… that was a tumultuous year…
… i pass a construction site where an Hasidic Jewish man supervises… mom’s waiting for the school-bus with their children… bus comes, children board, mom’s disperse…
… i am now walking through the valley of car dealerships towards the walk of sorrows…
… i was getting very disappointed with Feedbin… I thought it wasn’t functioning properly… no new articles coming in… this morning decided to poke through settings and it turns out i was filtered to an item i had starred… once filtered to “unread” i am back in business…
… what catches my attention:
From Colours of My Body (2021) Lea Colombo, via AnOther Magazine
From Structures of Madness, or Why Shephards Often Go Crazy Living in the Mountains, Boris Mikhailov
… the artist focuses on her use of color as a principal factor of the work:
I am attracted to colour’s vibration and energy, the frequency that it gives off and has, or holds. It allows a deeper expression. Colour is the living touchstone of reality. Everything that we see and experience is made up of a spectrum of colours – it’s how we relate to the world and ourselves. As such, it is a pivotal component of my artistic and photographic expression. It is how I render my relationship to subject and self.1
… there is a gallery exhibit of the work in two places, South Africa and Los Angelas… there is a book coming… six hundred plus pages… i really like the work but wonder if it would sustain me through 600 pages…
… that the nudes are all of the artist’s own body frees it from questions of exploitation of the model… it is a self exploitation… i also think that the work frees itself from questions of objectification of the female body as intent… though, as with all such images, how the image is interpreted by the viewer can be pure objectification…
… DJ being told about the abuse he suffered from his father when a toddler… echoes of D… DJ’s abuse was both physical and mental… mine only mental… yes… i can say that now… i was abused by D much of my life…
… DJ says we can’t write of the past accurately… any attempt to do so is self portraiture… i suppose that is true… one views the past through the lens that accommodates it to the present in the desired ways… often as justification for our infirmities, insecurities…
… DJ and his sister appear to have had a poor relationship with their dad… he outlived their mother… it’s not clear the relationship was much better with the mother… my nightmare would have been D outliving M…
… day after day of illness, then diagnosis, TB of the stomach… there is such a thing?… medicine… feeling better… optimism…
… i close the book on a Sunday in April… nearing the end, but time to move on…
… up on the early side… crickets chirping away…
… i am empty in the thoughts department…
… D and E coming to diner tonight… will spend much of the day cleaning, shopping and cooking… don’t know that there will be much help from H…
… my photographs received well at Salon last night… somewhat the response i was looking for… i think they will be useful in constructing a narrative… now i have to figure out what that narrative is… it might be a BI but not BI narrative… that is, only photos from BI, but i will construct a narrative aimed at a mythical island presence…
… to me, the photographs depict a harsh desert like landscape… of course, turn 180 degrees and there is the sea… perhaps that is part of it… desert island in the middle of the ocean… the landscapes are lonely, forbidding, primal…
… i mentioned they were all taken with iPhone… the iPhone camera is revolutionizing my photography work i told them… i think it probably more accurate to say it is revolutionizing my equipment bag… one can do a lot with an iPhone and consequently travel light… it has been the only camera i have brought with me to BI for several trips now… and the technology updates and improves continuously… every two years new and better…
… multi-tone train horn in the distance… freight train moving down the western side of the Hudson…
… i have a bunch of camera equipment that was D’s… i wanted it… some of it is film… i have an idea about making pictures with it that are somehow nostalgic in nature… playing with them for specific effects… i need to get them up and running and see what i have… they are mostly dinosaurs in the photographic equipment cosmos… i am expecting each one to have particular image characteristics that can be deployed for particular effects…
… while reviewing and editing photographs, these two from yesterday:
… i was outside fussing with the installation of a roof rack on our new car when i heard a bunch of distant squawking overhead… i looked up and there were all these birds milling about squawking at each other… ravens i think…
… i was eight years old when this cornerstone was laid… i was curious about what happened during that year… it turns out, quite a lot:
… there is more in this Atlantic Magazine Article…
… not feeling great today… no good reason for that… no alcohol last night… an unusual blend of radish and celery greens for dinner…
… foggy morning…
… things are a bit sleepy…
… plant species identified this AM:
