On exhaustion before departure…
It’s something we need to do, and something we used to understand needs to be done, and something we still sometimes acknowledge we must do. We once knew this: before rituals of initiation or life change, you need to tire out the parts of you that need to control everything, so that losing control feels relieving. It’s just like before a wedding. You get both of the betrothed drunk, and tired, and distracted, and so stressed that, by the time it actually happens, neither of them have enough energy to even try to direct anything any more.