First Thoughts
… HCR meeter, democracy hanging in the balance… Mitch McConnel grandstanding, accusing the Dems of socialist betrayal of the country… i really don’t care about the socialist argument… i simply don’t want to finish out my life under the system Republicans propose…
… yesterday a somewhat lazy day… thunderstorms in the afternoon, dinner of leftovers… moved the puzzle forward… i think i will have time to finish it before going home…
… M went out with friends for dinner and said it was “good times”… they seem to be settling into their life without D… that we communicate daily and i send them photographs daily is a change in the absence of D… i keep checking my feelings about D and they are guiltless feelings of gladness that they are not around to muck up the works anymore… everything feels calmer and more genuine… less fear… more willingness to communicate freely… interestingly, i think about them… it’s hard to describe their presence in my mind… just sort of there, not haunting, not hating, just there… a presence that allows memories of the good and bad without much emotion… i don’t miss them, i do not forget them…
… H has been obsessed with her mother’s health and well being… generally, they have not been the best companion on this vacation, so focused on their own woes… they hammered away at it when B and M were over… i try to get them to back off a bit, let go, keep in mind that M is 90 years old, has lived a good life, is still a competent adult… they don’t see it that way… they treat M like a child… not much i can do but tolerate it… i am grateful for the hours of my own space in the morning… i look forward to H finding their way to a happier space… i hope it happens soon… i hope it happens… i am a little weary of having to be the float that keeps us from drowning in the negativity that surrounds us… i try to tell them this… they are determined to be as they are… not particularly happy, not contributing much to joint happiness…
… i have an MP cemetery annual meeting on Saturday… i am annoyed by this too… why does it always happen in the midst of vacation?… i am getting tired of that…
… well, on to Modern Nature…